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网上最浪费时间的九大罪魁祸首
网上收集 2011/6/9 10:06:50 (7936)

  The Internet has changed the way that we all live our lives. It’s also invented a whole host of ways to suck all of your time away. Here are some of the best。

  There was a time when the only way to pass a rainy afternoon was talking to the people in your house and playing a few hands of Canasta. Then came TV and board games and calling your friends on the phone. Now we all just head to the nearest computer and get sucked into the swirling abyss of the Internet. Everyone wastes their time in a different way, but these are all very common, easy to come by, and deadly to personal productivity。

  Gawker认为以下9种方式最容易让你在网上不知不觉度过人生,事后发现自己一无所获。以下附带有中国特色的解读。

  The Wikipedia Hole 上维基百科

  Ever go look up something on Wikipedia, something totally innocuous like Elizabeth Taylor, and it kicks off an awful journey that leaves you bleary-eyed and blubbering three hours later? It’s so easy。

  From Elizabeth Taylor, you click on Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, then on Mississippi, then on 2000 U.S. Census, then on imputation, then on bootstrapping (statistics), and then on sample size and you wonder why it has nothing to do with fashion, so you search "sample size" and still no fashion, so you search Issey Miyake and then you start clicking from there, over and over and over again until you’re deep down in the middle of the hole, your mind steeped in trivia that you’re going to forget as soon as the laptop clicks shut. Welcome to Wonderland, Alice. It’s a hell of a place。

  坦白地说,维基与国内的一些搜索引擎相比,给我的感觉完全不一样。维基百科很多优质条目的注解完整,图文并茂,最重要的是每一个你可能起疑的点都有链接到新词条,这就让你每发现句子中不明白的地方,就跳到新的词条去,最终忘记了自己是从哪里跳到当前的页面。

  The Spree 看视频

  The great thing about YouTube is that it has everything. The awful

  thing about YouTube is that it has everything. I mean, you go looking for Marisa Tomei’s Oscar acceptance speech and somehow you end up clicking on everyone of those "related video" links on the right until you’ve worked your way to the collected works of the fake Chloe Sevigny。

  With YouTube you never intend to spend that much time, but you end up "one more clip"-ing yourself to death. They’re only 3 minutes each, but those motherfuckers really add up. And you only realize that once you’ve watched 10 different divas sing "Ladies Who Lunch."

  YouTube(如果你能打开)和国内视频网站的小小区别是,网友自拍的搞笑画面,猫猫狗狗什么的,非常容易被顶上去,所以你就在那天真可爱的一段段视频片段中把自己萌死。

  The Facebook Fugue 上人人网/Facebook

  Oh, Facebook, we couldn’t do anything without you. But I’m not talking about your normal visits during work hours when you’re looking at status updates, checking your messages, and clicking on links from your friends. No, there is a different, darker Facebook that comes out late at night, when you start searching for all of your ex-girlfriends and clicking to see if any of them have changed their last names recently. Maybe you message them, maybe you don’t, but then you start looking for that girl you had a crush on in college whose last name you can’t remember, but then you think you can find her through mutual friends。

  And after that, you start an activity I like to call "scramping," where you look through your hottest friend’s friends looking for attractive people to make you feel bad about yourself. This is the dark side of Facebook, and it will attack you and make you feel like a Saturday in a blanket on the couch with scattered tissues lying around your nearly lifeless body。

  我们在人人网上偷着菜,看着好友最近更新的日志,在光鲜的照片下留言,围观有意思的分享,一个下午就这么过去了。

  The Gilted Cage 逛淘宝/Etsy/eBay

  Oh, look, there’s a sale on Gilt Group. But there’s always a sale on Gilt Group. Oh, what about Etsy? There’s always something you need there, too. Don’t forget that shower curtain with the pink bunnies and deer on it that you saw at the store and wanted to buy but didn’t and now it’s discontinued and you just have to have it. It has to be out there somewhere! Then there are the countless eBay auctions you’re trying to win for toys that you threw out when you were 12 and you sure could use a new case for your iPhone. Shit, buy a new iPhone, because everything on the internet is for sale and everything for sale is on the internet. You just have to know where to find it。

  Cruising the web is like having a mall that never ends, where you just walk and walk and walk past Chess Kings and 5-7-9s for hours. It’s like the world’s largest rummage sale, but most of it is rubbish, but you know there is one great affordable

  gem tucked away under all the piles of crap and, as long as you remember the security code on the back of your credit card, you’re going to find your way there. Oh, yes you are. Yes. You. Are。

  这段中外区别也不大。值得注意的是国内大多商铺都是一口价,国外则保留拍卖的传统一直到今天,所以如果你看中一样东西,光是跟踪这样东西的竞价就够你忙一阵子的了。

  The Date Machine 在线约会

  What is the "date machine?" Well, it’s your computer. More specifically, it’s all those sites that say they’re going to bring you love, dates, or just a roll in the hay. Whether it’s eHarmony, Match.com, OKCupid, Manhunt, Ashley Madison, Adult Friend Finder, or (shudder) Craigslist, the date machine is a major time waster. You have to come up with and perfectly hone your profile so it will give off flattering misconceptions about yourself. Then you have to start looking for mates and clicking on pictures and sending emails and responding and IMing。

  It’s even worse if you’re "looking for now" (as the homosexuals say) and are determined not to get off the machine until your getting off is totally determined. You think this is going to buy you freedom from lonely nights in front of the computer, but it only ensures that you’ll spend even more time with glow of the screen warming your sad Anistonian face。

  国内什么相亲网站值得信赖?呃,我在想它们会不会比QQ视频更靠谱。国外自然就是Match.com之类的啦。

  Living a Fantasy Life 沉浸式游戏

  While fantasy football might have little to do with the real world, it certainly takes real time to attend to your team. Not only do you have to watch all the games (and in fantasy baseball, this takes even more time), but then you have to trade your players, pay attention to who is on the DL (the disabled list, not who’s having sex with men on the sly), and how well everyone else in your league is doing。

  You have to analyze your stats and plan accordingly, spending large amounts of time on the painstaking

  details so that you can win a pot of cash and the admiration of your friends. You know if yo

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